Why is it so difficult to quit quitting?

I often hear the words " I quit" and sometimes I find it hard to believe that while some can quit things often others find it hard to quit.We often find hard to quit a stronger commitment such as a relationship or something we are obsessed with. Some quit their studies and some quit their jobs and some quit their life. Some even quit quitting. Sometimes we see that it becomes difficult to quit quitting in politics. Some politicians quit quitting and can remain in their position for 30 to 40 years.Why?. I feel its not because they are mad or bad, but because they are sick. May be its a psychological disorder.

Hmm what im trying to say is that if this is a psychological disorder then we must treat quitting and being unable to quit as psychological origin. I asked a friend of mine who quit his blog and he says there is no apparent reason(www.thoughtsunboxed.blogspot.com). Man, Im gonna miss your blog.There goes quitting, but i bet you, my old friend you have quit for a reason.

Lets look at a few more examples of quitting. The new maldives quit from an old regime due to frustrations mound over them as a result of failures of the regime in bringing reforms. Well quitting if u get furstrated is a sign of good health. But the regime however is unwilling to quit and this shows there is a psychological disorder in those who refuse to quit. Another mate of mine quit her studies and career because her health is not sufficient to continue it. Well so my friends quitting is not a problem as long as u do it for a healthy reason, but being unable to quit quitting is a big problem.Think about it if u cant quit quitting .Thats when you really need a psychiatrist.I should quit my quit quitting idea now, other wise I may become a psychopath.

My friends,Bondhu, Machaa, Bhai and Mahathiyaa

In our little country we have got many friends from neighbouring countries. I always used to think about them and I used to encounter with them when I go for my frequent coffee or tea or breakfast at the various cafes, kadas and hotaas and restaurents. Most of the time I come across with them in hotaas.

Thinking about why there is such an influx of legal and illegal immigrant workers and reasons for them to come to Maldives is not a suprise. In a place where discrimination towards certain types of manual labourers such as rubbish collectors, waiters and construction workers and a young aged population with no interest in such work is one reason perhaps. But also the greedy buisness people who could save their penny easily by getting cheap labour could be another cause.

No matter whether they are illegal or legal or from which ever natioanality they are happy people. They do donkey days of work and get only one hoilday in the week which of course is evident when we walk around Male' on a friday evening. When ever I enter a hotaa they usually come and ask what do I need. Sometimes when I tell them cool water in dhivehi they bring normal water and viceversa. I am not sure whether it is because they dont understand the dhivehi language or because they have a motive of getting satisfaction by being irritative and assertive. Some customers talk to them in a raised voice, with threatening vulgar dhivehi words, and treats them in a more unethical manner which some may say as animal like treatment. No wonder why many of us Maldivians find it irritating to be polite and thankful to people who serve us.May be Maldivians have become such arrogant and unpolite people because they may feel disgusting to thank a dirty manual labourer. Some even avoid these friends in consideration with hygiene. Well it is of no suprise when such tough men work like donkeys without any breaks to refresh they would of course smell like goats. Moreover being not well enough to spare a deodorant or a good quality soap with theier earnings is another reason or perhaps not being provided with enough freshwater to cleanse their body in their traditional bathing style in rivers as their bosses dont like to see a fat water bill.

Hmm strangely no body bothers about whatt goes in the kitchen, except when an occasional hair in a bajiyaa or a piece of boakibaa is evident while savouring the hot an spicy delicacies. Many such kitchens are also infested by roaches and rodent aliens as well and our friends never bother to kill or chase them. May be they feel empathy towards such aliens in their surroundings and want to show others it is inhumane to victimise gods creations.Well its of no suprise as the hotaa is both a bed room cum bathroom cum hotaa. In the night our firends who are not given places to sleep put tables in the hotaa together and spread a sheet on them and sleep over these tables. Sometimes their washed clothes including their undies may be seen hanging on a rope near the corner of kitchen. Well still they are happy and they continue to enjoy the day heat and ocasional rain and the tropical climate, Maldives which of course is the paradise to a person who only enjoys the physical environment.

My dear bondhus and bhais and machaas and mahathiyaas, with your ways and your life and your labour, how could we ever live without you????

to a special someone

your my dream
your my everlasting friend
there is no one else who can take your place
your name is engraved in my heart in gold

you remember those happy moments we had together, dont you?
those moments are like precious diamonds and i will always cherish those moments
the simple happiness of those perfect moments will always remain with me
with the light of the early day and the quite words i pray i always remember you

when i think of you my soul gets revived
and i want to burn in the desires of your wild dreams
but too much love is not good
I love you so much, and have the fear of loosing you
it makes me to have a distance with you
but i dont want to have this distance any more
loosing you may hurt me, but its unbearable for me to be away from you
please let me love you again and again and forever

your ever loving friend
Ibs

Condeming the attack on 29th September in Sultan Park

well its not easy to sit without disseminating my thoughts about the recent criminal act of terrorism in Male'. I just wondered about Maldives and lots of thoughts came to me. First thing which came to my mind was rule of Sultans in Maldives. Our history tells that lots of cruel things were done in Sultans Palace where Sultan Park is now. This included killing people and burrying them in huge earthen ware pots which we call "GULHI".Well then our society transformed from the Sultans era to a new modern world, and I thought why this cruel acts again. I could only think of one reason, some of us are still having the thinking we had centuries back. Islam is our respected religion and some of us have grown in to radical fundamentalists over the years. I recently met 2 young fellows who are studying to become lawyers and had a chat with them. I was suprised by their arrogance against west and non muslims. They even claimed that non muslims money and wealth are to be grabbed and they are our enemies. I have to debate with them for hours instead of my busy schedule, and they were so much drenched in this they refused to beleieve anything I told. well in the end I have to vanish from the scene as a kafir ( anon beleiver in Islam). I was so outraged.

Yes of course our beloved prophet Muhammad(PBUH) was born in a desert and his followers were mostly nomadic Arabs. But the religion he brought was to the whole world. So it doesnt mean we have to bring sand from desert to our islands and live a desert life. Fundamentalists view are such that we have to live such a life. Of course for the love of prophet we can do things he had done and surely we wil get blessings for that. But we should know the limits of it. By doing things exactly the way it was done thousands of years ago will not be very relevant at this modern age. Consequently Countries like Saudi are also not following such age old traditions. How can we say that sending childrren to schools doesnt agree isalmic views. Its totally wrong as our prophet asked those non muslims caught in War of Baduru to teach muslim children. He never said non muslims cannnot teach muslims. By not sending our children especially girls to school our economy will get affected as we will not have enough man power to boost our growing economy. Besides keeping women confined to home will elevate poverty and hence such familys will become more and more poor leading to more social problems. The root cause of all this problems is socio economic. As peopple with such extremist views arent earning enough their deprivations lead to frustrations which they show as anti ssocial behaviour against societies well mannered people.

We have to curb these fundamentalist ideologies from our society without any delays. It is spreading like fire in the society. These fundamentalists usually target school leaving age children and teenagers. So we need to satrt an awareness campaign to school leavers. There are 2 problems we need to make school leavers aware, thats is DRUGS and FUNDAMENTALISM. We also need to give career guidance to students. I sometimes wish we could have open day awareness programmes for schools in such issues. Our Education Ministry needs to be more proactive to promote hidden curriculum in schools.

I wish a beter Future for my beloved Nation, the peceful and serene Maldives.

2100 infantry and the culpresco fiasco

In every government office those who pass olevel or Alevel and join are paid 2170 Maldivian Rufiyaa as a salary.Hence I call them the 2100 infantry.These are a bunch of young and vibrant, people with huge potential.Sadly in our system of good governance and good practice many of the people above director generals are corrupt and uneducated.They have been promoted not on basis of merit, but on their ability to puff air in to senior level people like ministers and deputy ministers.Sometimes if you become the personal caretaker of such people you could immediately get a good promotion. Be aware that sometimes you may be asked to do shopping for your boss or clean his car.If you dare to do this go ahead for a promotion.
Hmm... well the culpresco fiasco is now used by 2100 infantry to escape from their bosses.
In a particular case the boss comes worried.
Boss: have you send that chack to bank yet?
21ooinfntry guy: no sir not yet!
Boss: Why are you so careless! What are you doing in office?
2100infantry guy: Sir im very busy doing all filing and stuff
Boss: you always come here and waste time
2100 infantry guy:Sir actually that check got "culpresco"
Boss: really! then you better hurry and clear the "culpresco" and get it done.
2100 infantry guy: yes sir Ill do it as soon as possible
Boss: you should have told me it got "culpresco",
Well this was the begining of culpresco fiasco. Neither the boss nor his clerk knows what culpresco is.However the clerk got a good excuse and easily escaped from the lashes of his whip.but he was able to make a fisaco of this regarding his boss. So what good is it to keep educated people under the control of such people.Well just because of their experience and dedication I guess, or rather loyalty to a senior or influencial person. Anyways such humiliations go on everyday in our office environments.But im really offended by the culpresco fiasco and hope our 2100 infantry will find better excuses.

sterotyping, an unforgivable crime

Growing up in a society with so many restrictions and living in a monotonous society for a long time makes a person ignorant in terms of respect and accepting individual differences. However outside exposure and spending sometime in a multi cultural and multi racial society would open our eyes in to the real world. People are different, not because they choose to be. God has created us differently as a test of patience and humanity of us. However in the Maldivian society, people get labeled in various ways and are criticized and even abused. However we all should remember that God created all of us equal and in Gods eyes all are equal, except for his or her good deeds. So if we keep on doing this it’s a shame and we should not encourage racism and hatred in our society. Let’s not be labeled as racists.

Maids on a hunt

Its a common fashion these days to have maids.In many homes they do all kinds of chores from cleaning, cooking and washing and even baby sitting. Maids come from various places.Local maids are few as they are unreliable according to sources.So, many maids come from neighbouring countries like Sri Lanka, India, Bangladesh and Nepal as well.
Most of the maids are being treated very well and also have a good reputation for being loyal and hardworking.However recently maids hunting jewellery and money in their owners coffers are on the rise.This is not a fault of maids alone,but those keping them as well.In most cases I have heard, maids are given too much authority over the daily running of house.They are given the keys of all rooms and they can go in and out of all rooms easily at any time.As most house owners are busy working, maids enjoy the ownership they are given and their desire of being rich overwhelms the loyalty and honesty for their owners. They then poke in to valuables and start cheating and stealing.In a case i got informed, one maid even went on selling food stuffs to friends which are kept in the house store room.They also are very peeeky and collect jewellerires left in the rooms too.I think we have to have boundaries and restrictions for maids and they should not be given the whole house to rule.Instead rules have to be made for them on how they should work.

inheritance of loss

Im fed up of hearing the governments lack of support to students abroad, on various government scholarships.Some are complaining of low quality education. I got most complains from students studying in India.Many are complaining about low standard in some colleges.Mainly its English standard and facilities such as laboratories and internet and even food and accomodation.Some times when we say India the government seniors think its cheap. But its not so, if we consider a city like New Delhi, the capital. In Delhi, cost of living is high as standard of living is also high.However government scholars in some parts of india get a pocket money of 200 US dollars while some in Delhi get only 100.Also Delhi is a place where warm clothing is required and even though students live on hostels food is not upto standard.It is so unfair when they get a scholarship and go abroad and their parents supporting them. After all a scholarship is given on merit and its not supposed to be given on mercy or inherited. Well whatever the case it is by getting a government scholarship they inherit so many losses and government must always give priority for high quality education and make sure to provide enough pocket money to suffice the needs of the scholars.After all its an investment for future and quality matters, especially interms of knowledge gained.Mind you an Indian professor told me you get oneroom Universities in India which can sell you Phd and masters. No wonder why so many people have 3 or 4 masters and Mphils, what a joke.But I really appreciate Some Indian Universities and institutes with world class education. but it never comes cheap, so lets not make cheap as an option as these scholars will be our future leaders.

LOVE

what is love?is there anything as such?Is it a mere attraction or just a desire.Sometimes its hrad to tell waht it is.They say love is blind.Yes thats true, but is it love which is making us blind or is it a selfish desire to fullfill ones needs.Yes love for most people is a mixture of sex and feelings.Is missing someone or yearning to be with some one a sign of love.May be its the hunger in us or our instincts about fullfilling our sexual desires.isnt it more like love.Once this desire is fullfilled and the taste of love is being indulged it doesnt matter anymore.So love is not a commitment to someone in my opinion.Its a commitment to your feelings and your desire to conquer your own self.But why is it that its always a special someone we yearn for? May be its someone today, and another person tomorrow and yet a differernt person yesterday.But at a particular instant its always just one single person we desire, or we yearn for.So love is not a phenomenon that happens as in the ROMEO and JULIET, but rather a creation of one's mind's eye.Its just like a picture in our mind.We can colour it in anyway we want and we can erase it off and reinvent it and repeat it as often as we desire. Is there anything as true love, or giving your heart to some one you love.Im not sure whetehr youll agree, but its not just one person you can give your heart or you can love and neither is it a lifetime feeling.

Scientific TALE OF LOVE
Scientists are finding that, after all, love really is down to a chemical addiction between people
OVER the course of history it has been artists, poets and playwrights who have made the greatest progress in humanity's understanding of love. Romance has seemed as inexplicable as the beauty of a rainbow. But these days scientists are challenging that notion, and they have rather a lot to say about how and why people love each other.
The scientific tale of love begins innocently enough, with voles. The prairie vole is a sociable creature, one of the only 3% of mammal species that appear to form monogamous relationships. Mating between prairie voles is a tremendous 24-hour effort. After this, they bond for life. They prefer to spend time with each other, groom each other for hours on end and nest together. They avoid meeting other potential mates. The male becomes an aggressive guard of the female. And when their pups are born, they become affectionate and attentive parents. However, another vole, a close relative called the montane vole, has no interest in partnership beyond one-night-stand sex. What is intriguing is that these vast differences in behaviour are the result of a mere handful of genes. The two vole species are more than 99% alike, genetically.

Why do voles fall in love?
The details of what is going on—the vole story, as it were—is a fascinating one. When prairie voles have sex, two hormones called oxytocin and vasopressin are released. If the release of these hormones is blocked, prairie-voles' sex becomes a fleeting affair, like that normally enjoyed by their rakish montane cousins. Conversely, if prairie voles are given an injection of the hormones, but prevented from having sex, they will still form a preference for their chosen partner. In other words, researchers can make prairie voles fall in love—or whatever the vole equivalent of this is—with an injection.

Love, love me do
Scanning the brains of people in love is also helping to refine science's grasp of love's various forms. Helen Fisher, a researcher at Rutgers University, and the author of a new book on love*, suggests it comes in three flavours: lust, romantic love and long-term attachment. There is some overlap but, in essence, these are separate phenomena, with their own emotional and motivational systems, and accompanying chemicals. These systems have evolved to enable, respectively, mating, pair-bonding and parenting.
Lust, of course, involves a craving for sex. Jim Pfaus, a psychologist at Concordia University, in Montreal, says the aftermath of lustful sex is similar to the state induced by taking opiates. A heady mix of chemical changes occurs, including increases in the levels of serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin and endogenous opioids (the body's natural equivalent of heroin). “This may serve many functions, to relax the body, induce pleasure and satiety, and perhaps induce bonding to the very features that one has just experienced all this with”, says Dr Pfaus.
Then there is attraction, or the state of being in love (what is sometimes known as romantic or obsessive love). This is a refinement of mere lust that allows people to home in on a particular mate. This state is characterised by feelings of exhilaration, and intrusive, obsessive thoughts about the object of one's affection. Some researchers suggest this mental state might share neurochemical characteristics with the manic phase of manic depression. Dr Fisher's work, however, suggests that the actual behavioural patterns of those in love—such as attempting to evoke reciprocal responses in one's loved one—resemble obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).
That raises the question of whether it is possible to “treat” this romantic state clinically, as can be done with OCD. The parents of any love-besotted teenager might want to know the answer to that. Dr Fisher suggests it might, indeed, be possible to inhibit feelings of romantic love, but only at its early stages. OCD is characterised by low levels of a chemical called serotonin. Drugs such as Prozac work by keeping serotonin hanging around in the brain for longer than normal, so they might stave off romantic feelings. (This also means that people taking anti-depressants may be jeopardising their ability to fall in love.) But once romantic love begins in earnest, it is one of the strongest drives on Earth. Dr Fisher says it seems to be more powerful than hunger. A little serotonin would be unlikely to stifle it.
* “Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love”, by Helen Fisher. Henry Holt and Company, New York.

a dream come true

I was awakened by the warm sunshine
Glistening through the window
I walked alone and sank in to a deep pond
I was suddenly bathing in the water
I plunged deeper and deeper
my senses got awakened and I got revived from a bitter past
suddenly I heard a noise and was awake
Yes I was dreaming
but its so real and a dream came true in a dream

resignations and hullabaloo

well its nothing new, but it came like thunder and lightening.Well it was quite unfortunate for me to be away from this hullabaloo.I was on an island on an official business.It was fun to be there and had done things I never dreamt of.Of course islandness and smallnes is nothing new for me. well one of the most striking feature of an island is walls.Huge walls are built everywhere, making the island look like a concrete jigsaw.May be this is the only way to show the islands is developed and beautiful to the eyes of an alien.But its whats beyond the walls which matters most.Behind the brightly painted walls is suffering and nightmares. But to an alien it seems that behind a beautiful wall is a hidden treasure and remarkable beauty.Can we ever stop these walls and try to show the reality behind the walls.

Chewing betel leaves and arec nuts

Do you know that the most consumed agricultural product of Maldives is betel leaves.
yes it is, and if you walk near the hotels in Male' you may see red coloured spit across the pavement and it may be appelaing for someone who doesnt know much about this habit.You could get see amazing shapes and sizes of red coloured spit.Sometimes i wonder whether we can promote it as a form of art.Dentists cry out that its causing gum disease in our people. Yet it is believed that it improves digestion and freshens mouth.Also betel leaves provides a good source of income for some islands like Nolhivarn in Hdh Atoll.

About BETEL LEAVES
The betel plant is called nagvalli in sanscrit language meaning serpentine growth. The betel plant is a slender creeper which has alternate, heart shaped, smooth, lustrous dark green leaves with pointed apex. Leaves are edible part of plant which is bitter in taste but aromatic. A cultivated taste creates pan lovers but overeating leads to addiction.

Betel leaf is in use from ancient times as a digestive edible. It is anti-flatulent and mouth freshener. It induces secretion of saliva and digestive juices and generates peristaltic wave which is very important for digestion. It helps digestive tract in functioning well.

Betel leaf is considered aphrodisiac i.e. an agent which stimulates sexual desire. It is a common practice to offer masalapan to newly married couple before retiring to bed. It adds to love making and pleasures is a common belief.

It has a diuretic property also. Betel leaf juice given with milk or honey helps in easing urination.

One ayurvedic school has suggested use of betel leaf in aches and pains, especially nervous in origin. It has analgesic and cooling properties.
THE NEWZEALND HEALTH NETWORK